Daring to Blog...

My name is Michelle.  I will be 48 years old in February... I think... it's to the point that I have to count from 1972 to the present year to make sure of how old I am.  haha  At this point, who keeps track anymore?!!  I love to write and have spent the last four decades writing journals, small stories and children's books... only I haven't the bravery to do anything with them.  They are tucked away in the attics, basements and storage units.  I have always been intrigued with blogging.  However, fearful to do that as well because it is public.  YIKES!  Do I really want people to see the REAL me?  Hardly, but the older I get the more reclusive and socially anxious I get.  Not sure why.  Maybe I was TOO social for the first 40 years of my life... I'm worn out.  Worn out... that describes me better than more phrases I can sit here and think of.  I'm worn out.  Tired of trying so hard to be and do and go.  My favorite time of the day is first thing in the morning when I have two or more cups of coffee while reading my Bible and sitting in my quiet living room before everyone awakes. This is the time that I am REAL.  Thanking God for my many blessings, but honestly... mostly asking what to do and why things are going the way they are.  It's been a tough road.  One that I will probably divulge in bits and pieces with this blog if I don't chicken out.  Not asking for responses.  This is actually mostly for me.  I think better when writing... or taking a shower.  haha  But I know there are women out there that put on a smile everyday and say "fine" and "good" when asked how things are... when in reality you'd really like to just stay in bed with your warm blanket snuggly around you and not have to deal with LIFE or PEOPLE or DISAPPOINTMENT.  Is this a blog about depression?  No, although that is something I quietly deal with.  Is it about being a wife and mother?  Not completely, although having both of those identities obviously come into play.  This blog is about all those things as well as coffee, cats, dogs, kids, teens, rebellion, addiction, rehab, illness, loss, hope... pretty much everything that pops into my head or heart that needs to come out my fingers.  It's about being REAL in a world that has learned to FILTER everything to make it seem better, richer, prettier, smarter.....perfect.  This blog is simply ...... well..... we'll see.....